Home for the Holidays?

If I were to say the word Holiday to you I do believe that word association would lead many of you to words such as Merry or Happy.  There may be some who would even associate the word Thankful when they hear the word holiday.  I do believe that these words should come to mind and one more if you will, Family.  All of these word associations come to mind when you think of being “Home for the Holidays!”  Sadly though, there are some who when they hear “Home for the Holidays,” they associate words such as Loneliness, Loss, Sadness, or Regrettable Memories.  Words such as Merry, Happy and Joyous are overshadowed by words such as Death, Divorce and other avenues of Sorrow or Stress.

After some twenty years of pulpit ministry and an additional five years of ministry as a Hospital Chaplain I have seen more families face the loss of a loved one more during the Holiday months than at any other.  This actually gives new meaning to the phrase “Home for the Holidays,” especially after experiencing the passing away of a loved one.  This is so, because home will not seem like home to them anymore since their loved one will no longer be there.  That thought alone is enough to bring some down into the depths of depression.  Yes they are not here but they are where they will ever be happiest, for they are safe in the arms of the Lord.

A typical conversation that starts up after a loved one passes around the holidays is that the holidays will never be the same again.  You find that people will begin to fret over the next time that the family gathers for a Holiday gathering.  We often find that unresolved grief will also cause an increase in the stress level of people.  They will become prematurely saddened because their loved one that passed away earlier will not be there at home leaving an awkward void in the holiday festivities.  I am led here to say that the truth of the matter is, they are home; they have gone home to Jesus.  Those of us who are left behind are just that, we are left behind.  We are but strangers in a world that is not our home.  When they took their last breath they were home with Jesus.  We are confident in this because the Scripture assures us that we can.  “We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. (9) Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him.” (2 Corinthians 5:8-9) Not only do we find this truth in the New Testament but in the Old Testament as well, “Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.” (Ecclesiastes 2:7) Once our traveling’s here in this world are over we go home to be with the Lord.  What causes grief to escalate into holiday despair is found in the lack of forgiveness and closure.  This in turn increases their selfish desire to hold onto the past causing them to remaining emotionally stagnant.  Having an understanding and trust in God’s plan helps us to grasp a firm hold upon the truth that our loved ones are with the Lord.  Our desires need to be readdressed to the truth of the Scriptures which let us know that as David said of his infant son who passed away, “And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live? (23) But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” (2 Samuel 12:22-23)

The Lord has warned us not to get to familiar with this world in which we live; we are told not to get too comfortable in this world because it is not our final home.  We are not to get too attached to the things of this world but that is a hard lesson for all men to learn.  That which we love in this world beacons us to long for and cling to it.  Love is one of the most precious gifts that God has given us and it is an emotion that cries out to be given to others.  There is nothing wrong with loving life nor that which life brings us.  The rift that a lost loved one leaves in our lives causes many struggle or spin out of control as they try to repair it.  At the same time we need to remember that this world is not our final destination; it is just a temporal place to journey through.  God has prepared a place for us and one day we will go to that home.  “Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered without the gate. (13) Let us go forth therefore unto him without the camp, bearing his reproach. (14) For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come.” Hebrews 13:12-14  We also see this truth in Peter’s writings, “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; (12) Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.” (1 Peter 2:11-12)

So if we are strangers here on earth then we are to be at home with the Father and in His house.  The things in this life are just temporal and fleeting.  Those who have gone on before us have realized this and they now wait for us there.  It is the place where our hope is turned into reality, a place where we are to be at home with the Father.  Jesus said, “In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you.  I go to prepare a place for you. (3) And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.” (John 14:2-3).  With this in mind let me say that the next time you sing “I’ll be home for Christmas,” you can assuredly sing the last verse which says, “If only in my dreams.” 

For only those who have gone on before us are truly, “Home for Christmas.”

Circling the Wagons

I was talking to a close friend and fellow counselor the other day who had mentioned that it had been a while since I had posted anything; like a lot of us we have a tendency to get busy and yet I do regret it that I have not posted an article for a while.  It was not long before our discussion turned to the Church and the need for Biblical Counseling to be a vital ministry of all churches.  My friend, who I have known over six years, has been a member of two different churches in the time that I have known him.  The church that he is currently a member of is a different denominational back ground than the one that I am currently a member of.  Half way through the conversation we became aware of the differences between one denomination and another.  Some of the circles that I have had the privilege to work with would say that we are in different camps.  We are both members of the “Church” but members of different camps with in the church.  

I must say that the word “Camp” almost always strikes an odd chord with me when spoken of about the church.  I am not referring to “Christian Day Camps” or “Christian Youth Camps” but camps of the same sort such as medical, political and even Christian.  With some medical camps you have those who are driven passionately to treat all things solely with medicine while others look to surgery as the main avenue of treatment.  With political parties you have the Republican party (or camp) and the Democrats (as the other camp), both saying they know what is good for the country but when you look at their voting record, you will find that they strongly lean to please their party (or camp) in lieu of the need of those who have helped them get elected.  We have the same thing in Christianity, some camps say salvation is in works while others emphatically deny that and say that it is by faith alone, sadly there are camps with in these camps.  I am saying all of this to say that in most Christian circles it is camps that keep us from achieving all that God would have us to do.  For years I have made it a practice of reading various blog sites, articles and books by Christian Counselors and the camp lines with in them are becoming more and more evident every day.

The truth is that camps are separators.  It is the separation of camps that get us focused on the minors.  We often find that one camp is writing and gearing up for an attack against the other.  They do so as if to say let’s not worry about what the true issues are  as much as getting their point across that the writer of one camp wants to come across as more right than the one that he is writing about.  I am finding out that many of these writers are spending much more time and effort attacking each other than they do on the problems.  In doing so it is almost as if they become another problem incarnate.  Book stores and Blog sites are filled with volumes written and being written about various issues but many of the average reader find themselves losing heart in their efforts.  They spend hours trying to sort through the attack language and get weighed down in the authors ego mire.  Finding themselves finished before they get to the answers that the author originally intended to write about.  Sadly the truths in some of these books and articles are never found as readers too soon tire of the search and toss them aside.

It is sad in that you often find one counselor promoting the acronyms of the group(s) that he belongs to and talking against the acronyms of another group.  One group supports a certain group of authors and the other an entirely different group.  Humility is often replaced by pride and arrogance as their history and experience with working with others increases.  They sit by watching and witnessing the Holy Spirit as He works in the counselee’s heart and life at times in spite of the sin of the counselor.  Do they not see that their sin will soon find us out (Numbers 32:23)?  Could this sin possibly be revealed in an open session or in open writing?  With some of these counselors it seems that the truth of His Grace and Mercy does not extend toward some Biblical Counselors that they do not see eye to eye with.  In essence we hear them say, I love you brother but…, I love you sister but…, well, “Billy goats butt”.  Grace, mercy and forgiveness is what we are called to minister yet we find that some fail to practice especially in written form.

I do not believe that any of us are really exempt, we are all in danger of being caught up in the “your camp my camp mentality.”  We find that many of the writers take a sectarian stand when it comes to their group or camp.  Yet if we are truly Biblical we should turn first to the Scriptures for the answers.  It is interesting to note that when confronted with sectarianism Jesus himself forbid it as we see in Luke 9:49-50, “‘Now John answered and said, “Master, we saw someone casting out demons in Your name, and we forbade him because he does not follow with us.’ (50) But Jesus said to him, ‘Do not forbid him, for he who is not against us is on our side.’”  Sectarianism is a word which can conjure up a plethora of emotions, opinions and perspectives this is because the term can take on different meanings depending on how it is used.  According to one definition, “sectarianism is bigotry, discrimination, or narrow-minded hatred arising from attaching importance to perceived differences between subdivisions within a group, such as between different denominations of a religion, class, or factions of a political movement.”  I bet that this does sound a bit familiar to some.

The right question to ask is, “Is it really important for the cause of Christ?”  Is Jesus being glorified as we openly and unapologetically attack our brethren in Christ?  Are we really doing more damage to the Biblical Counseling Ministry that He has called us to by constantly attacking and bemoaning other counselors?  We should not walk into the counseling room to help someone before we get the splinter out of our own eye.  I do believe that there are some who carry a forest of beams in their own eyes.  We find this truth in this familiar passage of Scripture, Matthew 7:3-5 “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? (4) Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? (5) Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”  In doing so are we not guilty of grieving the Holy Spirit as well?  I do believe that we would all do well to have a permanent book mark in our Bibles to the fourth chapter of Ephesians.  We do well to teach the biblical rules of communication but some are still far from grasping them, from fully understanding the impact that they have on every relationship that we have.

It is now time to stop the separation and start circling the wagons and fighting the true enemy.  It is time to circle the wagons and protect that which is precious from the one who is trying so hard to destroy it.  If not we will be destined and determined to minimize the true fight by fighting ourselves while the real enemy laughs at us.  He has taken the tactic of divide-and-conquer to a new level by dividing us and getting us to fight each other.  This is what is evident among most Christian groups today.  A horse of a different color does not make it any less a horse.  We must learn to set our differences, our prejudice’s aside and start working together.  As believers in Christ we have just one mission and that is to bring honor to and glorify Christ.  Remember Luke 9:50? “‘… Jesus said to him, ‘Do not forbid him, for he who is not against us is on our side.’” 

I am reminded of author Walt Kelly, he wrote of a comic strip character named Pogo who is quoted as saying, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” 

So where do we go from here?

You wake up one morning and your mind is clouded and your heart is filled with questions.  Who is to be your God?  Who is your main idol?  Who are you going to follow?  How can you see God?  How can you see Jesus?  It is a wonder that you can even think of God at all with all of the other god's or idols in your life?  How can you claim to love Jesus when you cannot get close to Him with the idols in your life?

Can you hear him with all these voices screaming for your attention?  Can you really say that you follow His call, His leading with all of these others demanding you hear and please them?  Is He really the King of your life with all of these idols?  They do not have to demand time and do not, but you allow and offer them that time that belongs to Jesus, time that is really not yours to give.

How often do we take that which is God’s and cast it before swine?  How often do we take that which is God’s and stomp it under foot?  How often do we in our own arrogance take that which is God’s and sinfully abuse it then in turn walk in His house singing “Everything’s all right,” knowing full well that it is not.  How often do we hypocritically march into His house pointing out those that we perceive as hypocrites.  It is a good thing that there is not a mirror for us to look into to expose us.  Yet we fail to remember or realize that our all knowing, all seeing God is keenly aware of who and what we really are. 

It is a good thing that we cannot smell the stench of our spiritual hypocrisy or maybe not?  Oh that God would allow us to see and comprehend the sin that is in our lives and what does it do to our relationship with Him?  Our spiritual awareness is dulled by our sin that we often believe that our goodness is good enough while we are deeply entrenched in sin

Isn't it time to surrender to Jesus all that is in your heart and life?  Isn't it time to surrender to Jesus all that you have raised up in your life?  Isn't it really time to truly stop and take a look at the shambles your spiritual life has become, because of your pride and idol allowances? 

Place them one by one in front of Jesus and slay them in his presence.  Whether it be money, occupation, things, family, friends, whatever or whomever it is.  We must slay these idols before the King of Kings and allow him once again His rightful place on the throne of our heart.

It is no wonder that you're not happy, it is no wonder you are not content, you have tried to place Jesus on your idol shelf and he will not stand for it.  He will either expose them as idols they are and make you deal with them or he will do with you because of them.  He is a jealous God and rightfully so.  Notice this passage of scripture from 1 Samuel.  "Then the Philistines took the ark of God and brought it from Ebenezer to Ashdod.  When the Philistines took the ark of God, they brought it into the house of Dagon and set it by Dagon.  And when the people of Ashdod arose early in the morning, there was Dagon, fallen on its face to the earth before the ark of the Lord .  So they took Dagon and set it in its place again.  And when they arose early the next morning, there was Dagon, fallen on its face to the ground before the ark of the Lord .  The head of Dagon and both the palms of its hands were broken off on the threshold; only Dagon’s torso was left of it.  Therefore neither the priests of Dagon nor any who come into Dagon’s house tread on the threshold of Dagon in Ashdod to this day." (1 Samuel 5:1-5)

In this passage of Scripture we see what takes place in our hearts we try to place God alongside another idol.  Dagon was an idol of the Philistines the idol had the head and arms of a man and the remaining torso of fish.  God's final point in this passage of Scripture is it when you remove the hands and head of your false god all that remains is the fishy part and it stinks.

God will not be placed with idols, he has to stand alone.  He must be placed separate and alone on the throne of your heart.  Someone once said that He is either Lord of all or He is not Lord at all." How true that is.

How can you serve Him when you're in the way?  How can you serve Him when you place idols in the way?  How can you serve Him when you allow your sin you to do so? 

If we want to be what He wants us to be, if we are to serve Him as He would have us to serve him, if we are to lead as He would have us to lead then we need to step out of the way.  We need to remove our clutter, we need to remove our junk, so that we can see Him, so that we can hear Him, and so that we can follow Him as we should.