Disappointed with God?

This year has been an interesting one as I have had several people come to me lately in various stages of disappointment and despair; they come stating that they have exhausted all means of help. They have reached the end of their search and found that they were ultimately saying “I am completely with out hope.” Lack of hope stems from a variety of reasons one of which I would like to single out at this time speaking of those who are “Disappointed with God.” Rarely will you have someone come up to you and say “I am disappointed with God.” Though I have had a couple, most will not truthfully state the obvious. In their reality God had not preformed to their expectations or satisfied their wants or needs and now they are angry and disappointed in Him.

They at one time or another had placed great hope in God and that which they had hoped for failed to come to pass. Now since they placed hope in God, and that hope failed they place fault on God and are disappointed with Him. The truth being is that the fault is not with God but with their expectations. They know that God has a vast wealth at His disposal and expect it to be at theirs as well. The truth is, God saves us and adds us to that wealth for His use. We are saved for His service, He is not there for ours.

Too often we see the Hand of God moving but never at the pace we would like it too nor in the state of visibility that we want either. He does move and He moves surely and completely. Many of those we try to help expect God’s miraculous healing power and almost demand that it be done in their timing and in their terms.

Some remind me of Naaman the leper in II Kings 5. Asking why do I have to do something? Why can’t God do it all? They go to God and with their Naaman mindset and walk away disappointed. Their approach to the throne of God is prideful and with an heir of entitlement, believing that He saved them and now “owes them.” Claiming Philippians 4:19, “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” In their minds, they have rubbed the lamp and the Genie had failed to appear and now they are disappointed with Him. I am reminded of a commercial in Television for a legal firm that claims they can get you the money “owed you.” Their commercial is flooded by people stating “It’s my money and I want it now!” Believers today are much like the people in the commercial but the statement is changed to “It’s my healing and I want it now!” or “It’s my miracle and I want it now!”

When God does not produce the results that they want, it is His fault, not theirs. They become bitter in their disappointment. He did so for others but not for them. Downward they go into the fast moving downward spiral of disappointment and bitterness. Not wanting to face the root cause of their despair and disappointment. We do find that Naaman was eventually healed of leprosy but only after he did that which God had commanded, it was only after his surrendering his will into obedience to God that his answer was received. Yes, he did start out with a spirit of pride and anger and I do imagine that there was some whining involved as well but he surrendered his will to that of God and he was healed. He was disappointed in God but his obedience overcame his disappointment.

The truth is; all believers will experience some disappointment with God from time to time. We place our hopes in God and those hopes will at some time go unmet and we become disappointed. The fault, however, is not with God; if we are honest with ourselves we will see that the fault is with our expectations. God is aware of this and has already provided us help. He does so by providing us an example of this in Scripture. In I Kings 18 we find the story of the return of Elijah. It is here in this chapter that he victoriously calls down fire from heaven to consume his offering to God (Vs 30-39). He slew 450 priests of Baal (Vs 40), prayed and asked for God to let it rain after a 3 year drought and it did (Vs 42-45). Then he out ran Ahab’s chariot back to Jezreel (Vs 46).

We turn the page and go on to I Kings 19, here we find that shortly after his return to Jezreel we find him defeated and running for his life, why? Jezebel, Ahab’s wife threatened him, (I Kings 19:2). Just hours after this great witness of the power of God, his victory over the priests and his answered prayer, we find the believer of God disappointed with God. He went from the top of Mt Carmel to a Cave in Horeb. It is here where he has an interesting exchange with God. “And there he went into a cave, and spent the night in that place; and behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and He said to him, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ (10) So he said, ‘I have been very zealous for the LORD God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.” (Vs9-10) You can almost feel the hopelessness that he is feeling and in those who come to us for help. They have gone through a valley soon after a mountain top experience. They not only feel defeated they feel (as Elijah did) alone as if even God Himself has left them.

How many times have we been called to minister to those who have found themselves alone in that cave of despair? They believe that they are alone in their self pity crying woe is me; God has turned his back on me, He left me out here on my own. They often believe that they were doing all that God told them too and yet state “look where that got me.” They drown out the voice of God with our selfish cries, blaming Him for our despair and disappointment. It is interesting to note again the last part of verse 9 above, “…the LORD came to him, and He said to him, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?” What are you doing here? Did God really not know or was that a question that God was trying to get Elijah to ask for himself? The answer to the question lies within him if he would only ask.

Elijah eventually listens to God when He speaks to him and once again we find that God tells him to get up and move. “So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ (14) And he said, ‘I have been very zealous for the LORD God of hosts; because the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.’” (Vs13-14) We see here that God repeats His question to Elijah and Elijah repeats his answer back to God. God questions when He wants us to understand the answer that He gives us. How often God prompts His children by asking questions such as, “What are you doing here?” How often have we strayed from the course that He has for us? One other question, “How often have we given God the same answer as Elijah did?” Disappointment comes when we are stuck in a rut, caught up in the “Why me?” or “Why God?” question stage. Disappointments thrives when you are caught in the spiritual dull drums with no hope in sight; questioning the one who said that He will never leave you or forsake you.

God tells everyone much the same as what He told Elijah, “Get up and get back out there.” Understand that you are not alone, He is with you. He told Elijah to get his focus off of the circumstances and back upon Him and then go back to work. Go back about His business much like the duty of any and every believer; we must be about the Father’s business.
I also need to make note of the Grace of God in that He even took the time to answer Elijah’s complaint that he was the only one left when God assured him that he was not alone (Verse 18). What a loving God we serve, He stands offering us both grace and mercy. God still makes the same promise to us today, we need to move past our pride and move forward. Get out focus off of our selves and move on for God.

To be continued…

Taking Time to Help and to Heal / Part II

Counseling is my passion and my calling, to be able to take the Word of God and applying it to their problems of those who are hurting and see The Holy Spirit work is just an amazing blessing. Being able to see people change and heal because of the Word is an indescribable experience. What hurts or bothers me more are not the problems that people have but the bad counseling that they have received prior to coming to the office or church where our counseling ministry is.

The Apostle Paul was well aware of what the pressures of helping others can do and knew that he had keep his heart and mind focused upon God. Like Paul we must not allow the pressures of helping others to wear us down at the same time we must not lose heart in helping them. We have had to help those who have fallen into some snares that they had not anticipated.

First, I have noticed that some counselors get caught up in helping others with their burdens that they unfortunately get caught up in the praise received from the one they are helping. This is a danger that Paul mentions, “For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” (Galatians 6:3) I have often been told and passed on the belief that one of the worst forms of deception is self deception, thinking yourself better than you are. It is easy to get caught up in the accolades and forget to remember that we are a vessel of God first and that He is the one who does the work not the counselor, we are just the tool that He uses. God is faithful to His Word so that through their counsel those who are hurting to rise above their problem. It is unfortunate that some counselors will at the same time take the opportunity to exalt themselves. In the end they will find themselves crashing and burning because it is not long before they are in a situation far greater than they can handle. Sadly they have a tendency to pull others down with them as they fall. The Word of God clearly tells us, “But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.” (Galatians 6:4) The Bible also says, “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3)

Second, I have also noticed that some counselors may get so involved in helping others with their burdens that their own get laid aside and accumulate adding an oppressive weight that catches will catch up with them. They may be able to help the one hurting raise up above their problem but fall to their own because they are drained in the battle helping other at the expense of their own. They become a casualty to the pressures of their own problems and feel as if they are trapped as if being stuck in mire, not able to move even one inch. Paul’s warning against this is found in Galatians, “For each one shall bear his own load.” (Galatians 6:5) We need to make sure that we pay attention to our own burdens. If we are to help others with their’s burdens, we counselor at the same time must not lose sight of our own burdens. We must be careful that we are not lost in the battle by being over come by our own burdens. I am reminded of Matthew 6:34 which says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Through the help of God we can help others at the same time not neglect burdens of our own.

Third, another danger that I have noticed that counselors face is failing to deal with issue separation. This is an issue that we have to be very leery of. We are responsible for our own burdens as noted above in Galatians 6:5 and we are also responsible to help others with theirs as Paul stated in Galatians 6:2. If the counselor does not provide a release; if there is no outlet for the pressures they may face; they may soon succumb to the problems of others. They soon find themselves unable to separate the counselee’s problems from their own. By not maintaining a certain level of separation they may soon face a different kind of separation from friends and family as they draw to close to the counselee. Soon after, they may even believe they experience a separation from the Lord himself. Paul states in verse 9, “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Part of the weariness that we are to be constantly on guard against is the possibility of being overcome by the burdens of others. Peter said, “You therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked;” (2 Peter 3:17). Anyone who takes the time to offer a helping hand can fall victim to this. If you do not offer yourself time and opportunity to properly vent you can be overcome by these pressures. I do believe that this is the basis behind this verse, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.” (I Corinthians 9:27)

Part of the discipline that Paul spoke about was learning how to vent and whom to vent to. Without an avenue of release we can easily succumb to the stress and pressures that come with counseling. We cannot vent to just anyone yet there is a need to vent. We can do so with God but there also arises a need for some form of feedback. So where do we turn, to whom can we turn to? “For by wise counsel you will wage your own war, And in a multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 24:6) I believe that it is important to discuss with other counselors that which you are going through with counselees. You do not have to expose any vital information but use the opportunity of the fellowship with another counselor to discuss that which has crossed your desk. Their counsel is invaluable, they are a resource that is plentiful and they provide a proper avenue to vent, to release the burdens that have been gathered. They help clear a way to better focus on personal burdens. And above all it is biblical notice Proverbs 24:6 above and Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”

Taking Time to Help and to Heal / Part 1 of 2

All verses taken from the NKJV unless other wise noted.

If you have been saved for any length of time you have most likely spent a part of your time helping someone who is hurting. It is what God had intended for us to do; we are to help one another. For those, who like myself, are Biblical counselors, we spend a part of our lives weekly counseling others through their problems that life had thrown at them. We search the Scriptures for that which will help bring hope, or bring relief from problematic situations which may be as minor as choosing the hard left over the easy right while others we deal mostly with devastating lives that have been train-wrecked (so to speak.) It is the calling of all of God’s people to help one another, “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. (2) Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2) it is also the calling of God for the few who will take the time to dig deeper, to step into the mire with the hurting and help them to break free of the bondage that sin has them in.

God tells us that we are to make ourselves available to others helping them to recover from a fall. As we help those who come to us we must also maintain our closeness with God, family and reality. If we fail to do so we can fall victim to the pressures that we are helping others with and end up in a ditch on the side of the road, not able to help anyone not even our selves. Whether we are a trained counselor or a layman reaching out to help someone, I hope that these thoughts may be of help to you as I attempt to address a problem that I have seen among counselors.

When I speak of counseling, I am referring to the help offered to others which is Christ-centered, comprehensive, and compassionate. It will be Biblically based and rely upon the Holy Spirit to provide the truths needed in regards to the problems people face. We are called to provide solutions to those in need through the hope of the Scriptures. We also seek to empower people and encourage them to exalt and enjoy God and to love others as taught in Matthew 22:35-40. If we do so we help bring them into agreement and communion with Christ.

What frightens most believers is that this involves a certain amount of confrontation of which they strive to shy away from. It takes confrontation but more so it must be done in a spirit of love and it must be Biblical. Biblical confrontation a vital part of every believer’s personal ministry. It involves more than witnessing it also includes counseling which is the giving of hope, comfort and care to those in need. This is evident in Colossians 1:28, where Paul declared: “Him we preach, warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus.” I have noticed that fear drives many believers away from helping others and that is more of a fear of the sin of the other. A good example of this thought is found in Jude. “Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. (22) And on some have compassion, making a distinction; (23) but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.” (Jude 1:22-24) In this passage we find that the flesh referred to is basically the sin nature. What Jude is speaking of here primarily is in regards to sexual sins. These sins that spring forth from man’s sin nature. They become manifest in the many inappropriate deeds done in the body. The sin is not transferable but does cause many to shy away from those caught in sexual sins. We often find believer treating those caught up in sexual sins as if they are lepers and avoid them instead of helping them.

Like Precious Faith

It is a beautiful Wednesday morning and I am reading my Bible enjoying the birds singing as the sun comes up. I am reading the second Epistle of Peter and I had to jot this down while it is fresh on my mind. Peter’s second epistle begins this way, “Simon Peter, a bondservant and apostle of Jesus Christ, to those who have obtained like precious faith with us by the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ:” II Peter 1:1 (NKJV) I have always liked that statement, “To those who have obtained like precious faith…” It to me is one of the “Awesome” quotes that God has placed throughout His precious Word. It is statements such as this that that help us to go on even when troubles and trials have us at wits end. He is writing this epistle to me, one like him who has obtained like precious faith, and there are no greater words we can use to describe than “Precious Faith.”

This “Precious Faith,” is ours and is something that we obtain by (or through) “the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ:” He gives us a privilege that we do not deserve but in our state of unworthiness He grants us this faith through His Grace. One of the most precious aspects of this faith is that it is that which links our fellowship with Christ. It is this faith that helps us to hold on. It is this faith that helps us to grow closer to Christ and the closer we grow to Him the more Precious He is to us.

When taking time to write a letter to help encourage and exhort a fellow believer (Titus) the Apostle Paul wrote, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, (12) teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, (13) looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,” Titus 2:11-13 (NKJV) This Precious Faith walks hand in hand with the Blessed Hope that Paul speaks of here to Titus. This Blessed Hope is sustaining to me and it just sounds better and better because His Glorious appearing is what I am longing to see. It is the knowledge of the Glorious appearing of Jesus that is my hope it is the promise and sealant of the precious faith that I have in Him.

This precious faith holds and binds us, sealing the truth of the blessed hope within us and as we see in the following verse. “And everyone who has this hope purifies himself, just as he is pure.” I John 3:3. If we have this hope it purifies us just as He is pure. What a thought, what a hope and what faith it takes to hold and to maintain this hope. If we do so, we purify our hearts, our minds and our lives. In this truth we grow in the Lord and we become more like the Lord Jesus.

Would not our lives be exceedingly better if we would strive to be more like Christ? This is especially true in this day and age that we currently live in. The world and even this precious country of ours is turning away from Christ. We who are His must make it our goal, our mission to do more for the cause of Christ especially as we see the day approaching. How sad it would be for a country such as ours which has experienced the blessings of Christ to disappear from the annuls of history.

Hebrews 10:38, “Now the just shall live by faith: but if anyone draws back, my soul shall has no pleasure in him.” (NKJV) We are to live by faith, if we do not we will be as those who draw back, as those who shrink away for Christ, In doing so we cause Him to turn His face from us, to take his hands of protection off of us.

An Odd Church Encounter

I like court room dramas just for the sheer intensity of their atmosphere. One of my favorite courtroom scenes is from “A Few Good Men.” Col. Nathan Jessep (Jack Nicholson) is on the stand and is being interrogated by Lt. Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise). In one of the scenes you get one of the famous movie line quotes when Col. Jessep says, “You can’t handle the truth.” How true this is in almost every relationship that we are in. Case in point some other lines that we are faced with and we know that “they can’t handle the truth.” “Does this make me look fat?” “Do you care if I go shopping with my mother?” “One drink will not hurt.” etc.

We have taken this to the point that we often keep from saying things to some people in fear of offending or hurting them. We struggle with truth with some because we know that they are insecure in their relationship with you. So many people carry their feelings on their shoulders and blow off at the smallest of matters.

The other day I was talking to someone in the church before the service mostly making small talk nothing serious. Though the conversation was not serious but something was very serious and that was their breath. I did not want to hurt their feelings or say something wrong. What if they had a sour stomach or some other stomach problem? What if they had a dental problem? What if they leave me some clean air to breathe?

I tried to break the conversation off, I tried to move away but they kept encroaching pushing me more and more into a corner. Sometimes I wish that I had the brashness of Lt. Callahan (Clint Eastwood) in Dirty Harry when he was confronted by Captain Briggs (Bradford Dillman) and said, “Your mouth wash ain’t cutting it.”

Those words are not edifying but they sure would feel good rolling off of my tongue. What a grand violation of God’s rules of communication. That would be a giant step backward in my efforts to speak as God would have me to, as He would have all believers to do. We find in Ephesians 4: 25 God’s command to speak the truth, “Therefore, putting away lying, Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” (NKJV) Speaking the truth is really not enough because we can do so in a harmful way. So to avoid this we add to this the truth that which we find in verse 15 of that same chapter, “but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head--Christ--” (NKJV).

We are to speak, speak truth but speak truth lovingly. This truth Is sealed in verse 29 which reads, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Some of the strongest preaching we do needs to be directed back at ourselves. I am so glad that I do not have the brashness of a Dirty Harry but still long for the compassion of the Saviour when I do speak to others.

What is the Truth?

“Pilate therefore said to Him, “Are You a king then?” Jesus answered, “You say rightly that I am a king. For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.” (38) Pilate said to Him, “What is truth?” And when he had said this, he went out again to the Jews, and said to them, “I find no fault in Him at all.” John 18:37-38

This is an all too familiar passage with believers; we know of the questioning of Jesus by Pilate and have often wondered what was really going through Pilate’s mind when he was face to face with the Saviour.

Here standing before him is a true picture of the lamb being lead to slaughter. He is standing ministering to the one who will impose the force of Roman brutality upon Him. What a picture of our Saviour’s grace and love. With full knowledge, Jesus stands peacefully and confidently before Pilate, knowing that which lies ahead. We see in this conversation Jesus’ passion and commitment to the truth. “…Jesus answered, “…For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth…” Verse 37

Pilate’s answer to this statement is, “What is truth?” This suggests that he is either not clear that absolute truth exists or is stating a rhetorical question. It could be that perhaps that the world Pilate observed was oblivious or absent of truth. In turn, Jesus answers Pilate’s question with silence. Could be that Jesus knows the heart of Pilate, and the gulf that separates them was so great that the only answer to the question “What is truth,” can be nothing other than silence? Even Claudia, Pilate’s wife, had even had a dream about it. “When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, ‘Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.’ ” (Matthew 27:19). It’s as if God the Father was giving Pilate every chance to come to faith in Christ, perhaps planting seed for his future.

The question “What is truth?” is a question which people have struggled with and sought to answer in every way imaginable. Many today, when confronted by the truth of Jesus stand oblivious or worse yet threatened by what truth is. They have the choice to either embrace him or reject him. The forces that often surround men sadly drive their decision in the wrong direction. Jesus is standing by to offer all men the choice to accept Him, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16.

The truth is, “…It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4) God’s words are that which holds this world together, they mold and shape us into that which God would have us to be. They offer us salvation or they will be that which condemns us to an eternity of destruction if we reject Christ.

Pilate’s response to the silence was unfortunate for Jesus because after this conversation Pilate step back outside in a futile attempt to defend Jesus before the gathered mob. The mob reinforced their accusation against Jesus by implying, that Pilate’s attempt to free Jesus made him an enemy of Rome. With this possible threat confronting Pilate, he needed some immediate help. He needed an out, a loop hole if you will, to quickly separate himself from this mob and Jesus. In doing so he stepped his way into history as the one who judged the Saviour.

Thoughts on Unforgiveness: Part 8 of 8

Unforgiveness does not have to continue, there is a way to rid our hearts and lives of it. Is it easy? It sounds as if it is but it is not. It takes time, it takes patience and it takes faith in God. The last part of James 4:2 says, “…yet ye have not, because ye ask not.” We have not because we ask not, that is so true but James 4:3 continues, “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” The reason we have not gotten the answer to our prayer of unforgiveness is because we pray for an answer that suits us and not God. The first person that we need to ask to forgive us is God. It is God that we have ultimately sinned against. There are really only two parties in the area of unforgiveness that you have any direct access to. That is yourself and God.

God has already promised that if you forgive He will forgive. With this in mind, we find that we only have ourselves to deal with in this area of unforgiveness. We can ask for forgiveness of others but there is no guarantee that we will get a favorable response. So what do we do then? We ask them to forgive us then we turn lose of it and place that in the hands of God. The key is to turn it over to God and turn loose of it. I did say that this is not easy but it is what God expects of us. It is what God commands us to do.

These steps that must be taken to achieve forgiveness may seem hard and focused between you and God but once put into practice (as they should) the help you receive from God strengthens us. This help from God is in the form of two very familiar five letter words, “Faith” & “Grace”.

In asking others and God for forgiveness by Faith we trust God through faith to stay true to His word and forgive us of our unforgiveness. Then are we trust God for the rest. God through Grace, gives us the peace to move on. We rely upon the Grace of God for peace whenever that person comes to your mind. Peace to help you remember the promise that you made and peace to remember the Grace of God at work in your life to keep you from returning to the mire of unforgiveness. Peace to remove thoughts of the hurt or offense. It is through Grace we are reminded of the faithfulness of God. It reminds you that you have chosen to forgive, and each time it will get easier because the Lord will give you the strength.

Once you have done this, and “choose” to walk in love through faith and obedience, in the future you can fully understand why we are called conquerors. “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” (Romans 8:37) We are called conquerors, not through our strength, but through Christ.

One final note, I would like to take a moment to look at what the Bible says about forgiveness. For true forgiveness to take place we must remember that first of all we should not respond in uncontrolled anger. Second, we need to learn to use a soft and kind response and tone of voice. Notice the following verses: Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 29:11, “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” Ephesians 4:26, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”

When you are wrong, when you have done or said something wrong or offend others you need to respond immediately. The longer you delay the longer others are hurting and the greater the risk that this delay might cause them to hold unforgiveness towards you. To avoid the possibility of sin by either party you must act. First, admit that you are wrong or that you have wronged them. Second, you ask for forgiveness even if you feel that they wronged you. Ask them to forgive you for your actions. Third, you might go the extra mile and ask how you can change (if you have wronged them). Here are a few verses that might help: Proverbs 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” Proverbs 21:2, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.” Matthew 5:23-25, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; (24): Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. (25) Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.” James 5:16, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

Finally, when you ask someone to forgive you or when someone confesses to you, and asks for forgiveness you are to forgive them. By forgiving them you are making them three promises to be sure that there is forgiveness. First: You promise to Never bring it up to that person again. Second: You promise to Never bring it up to anyone else again. And Finally: You promise to Never bring it up to yourself again. Here are a few verses which will help to support this: Proverbs 17:9, “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.” Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” Colossians 3:13, “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” I Peter 4:8, “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”

In conclusion I am reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, (39) Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39). Nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ, but our desire for the love of sin hinders us from fully experiencing that love and joy which is in Christ.