Counseling is my passion and my calling, to be able to take the Word of God and applying it to their problems of those who are hurting and see The Holy Spirit work is just an amazing blessing. Being able to see people change and heal because of the Word is an indescribable experience. What hurts or bothers me more are not the problems that people have but the bad counseling that they have received prior to coming to the office or church where our counseling ministry is.
The Apostle Paul was well aware of what the pressures of helping others can do and knew that he had keep his heart and mind focused upon God. Like Paul we must not allow the pressures of helping others to wear us down at the same time we must not lose heart in helping them. We have had to help those who have fallen into some snares that they had not anticipated.
First, I have noticed that some counselors get caught up in helping others with their burdens that they unfortunately get caught up in the praise received from the one they are helping. This is a danger that Paul mentions, “For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” (Galatians 6:3) I have often been told and passed on the belief that one of the worst forms of deception is self deception, thinking yourself better than you are. It is easy to get caught up in the accolades and forget to remember that we are a vessel of God first and that He is the one who does the work not the counselor, we are just the tool that He uses. God is faithful to His Word so that through their counsel those who are hurting to rise above their problem. It is unfortunate that some counselors will at the same time take the opportunity to exalt themselves. In the end they will find themselves crashing and burning because it is not long before they are in a situation far greater than they can handle. Sadly they have a tendency to pull others down with them as they fall. The Word of God clearly tells us, “But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.” (Galatians 6:4) The Bible also says, “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3)
Second, I have also noticed that some counselors may get so involved in helping others with their burdens that their own get laid aside and accumulate adding an oppressive weight that catches will catch up with them. They may be able to help the one hurting raise up above their problem but fall to their own because they are drained in the battle helping other at the expense of their own. They become a casualty to the pressures of their own problems and feel as if they are trapped as if being stuck in mire, not able to move even one inch. Paul’s warning against this is found in Galatians, “For each one shall bear his own load.” (Galatians 6:5) We need to make sure that we pay attention to our own burdens. If we are to help others with their’s burdens, we counselor at the same time must not lose sight of our own burdens. We must be careful that we are not lost in the battle by being over come by our own burdens. I am reminded of Matthew 6:34 which says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Through the help of God we can help others at the same time not neglect burdens of our own.
Third, another danger that I have noticed that counselors face is failing to deal with issue separation. This is an issue that we have to be very leery of. We are responsible for our own burdens as noted above in Galatians 6:5 and we are also responsible to help others with theirs as Paul stated in Galatians 6:2. If the counselor does not provide a release; if there is no outlet for the pressures they may face; they may soon succumb to the problems of others. They soon find themselves unable to separate the counselee’s problems from their own. By not maintaining a certain level of separation they may soon face a different kind of separation from friends and family as they draw to close to the counselee. Soon after, they may even believe they experience a separation from the Lord himself. Paul states in verse 9, “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Part of the weariness that we are to be constantly on guard against is the possibility of being overcome by the burdens of others. Peter said, “You therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked;” (2 Peter 3:17). Anyone who takes the time to offer a helping hand can fall victim to this. If you do not offer yourself time and opportunity to properly vent you can be overcome by these pressures. I do believe that this is the basis behind this verse, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.” (I Corinthians 9:27)
Part of the discipline that Paul spoke about was learning how to vent and whom to vent to. Without an avenue of release we can easily succumb to the stress and pressures that come with counseling. We cannot vent to just anyone yet there is a need to vent. We can do so with God but there also arises a need for some form of feedback. So where do we turn, to whom can we turn to? “For by wise counsel you will wage your own war, And in a multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 24:6) I believe that it is important to discuss with other counselors that which you are going through with counselees. You do not have to expose any vital information but use the opportunity of the fellowship with another counselor to discuss that which has crossed your desk. Their counsel is invaluable, they are a resource that is plentiful and they provide a proper avenue to vent, to release the burdens that have been gathered. They help clear a way to better focus on personal burdens. And above all it is biblical notice Proverbs 24:6 above and Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”
No comments:
Post a Comment